Pressure, pressure pressure. I mean, who has something to say on demand? Certainly not me. I have to think to remember my own name most of the time, especially those times where you have to pretend to be a bubbly, people person.
Just like the first day of classes (before I sort of got bored and broke and needed the time at home and quit college for awhile), when you have to do "fun things" and introduce yourself and crap like that. A huge downside of community college. Hello? These classes are costing me mega bucks - if we could perhaps learn something (as if) instead of having to play "the name game"? I'm not a public speaker. I'm not even much of a private speaker, except to a few people who I can really talk to, and I've lost touch with nearly all of them.
OK. I've just reread that last paragraph and it makes me sound like the most boring, grouchy anti-social person in the world. I'm not anti-social, I'm just hideously self conscious. And probably a little bit grouchy. Maybe. I'm not good with my body - it lets me down too much. Heck, sometimes I even have to work to make it breathe, and lets not even go near the whole subject of feeding it.
But sometimes, just sometimes, the clouds clear and I remember how good my body can feel. Those are the times that I step away, and let my mind drift (it takes practice!), and I'm learning how to just be.
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